Friday, December 21, 2012

Welcome to the world baby boy....

Oliver William Edwards
April 9th 2012
10lb 1oz, 22in

Two months have past since we met our amazing son, Oliver. Two months of learning how to be a mom... how to master the 5 S's, survive infant acid reflux and postpartum blues, make Oliver smile as big as his little mouth can, wash poop off of everything, remember to hold hands with my first love and kiss him goodnight, and learn to take everything moment by moment, not day by day. 

Oliver waited to make his appearance until our scheduled C-section date. I woke up that morning and did my hair and makeup. There was no excuse not to look my best when I had time to plan. I put on my favorite shirt, the white one in my weekly update photos. Theo and I hopped in the car and headed to the hospital, excited beyond belief. I felt amazing as the nurse checked me in. I wasn't scared or nervous, just excited. I kissed my mom and Theo goodbye as I was wheeled to the surgery room. They would be joining me after I received the spinal. The panic didn't set in until I was waiting for the spinal needle to go in. It didn't even hurt, but it became very real what was about to happen. I laid on the table completely exposed as I felt any feeling leave my legs. I wasn't cold but had the idea that I wanted to just be out of there and be curled up under a warm blanket. I just kept reminding myself to relax and breathe deep. Theo and my mom were such a sight for sore eyes. I kept telling Theo how weird I felt. Luckily, the Morphine kicked in shortly after and really helped me focus back on the fact that we were about to meet our son. I felt some pressure and pulling, and hearing my doctor tell Theo to look over the curtain because our son was coming out. I heard someone say his head was stuck... cue more pulling feeling. Then the whole room exploded in "woo's!" and "wow he's big!" as Oliver entered the world. And that's when I saw him. My doctor held up this long, bluish, absolutely beautiful baby. My baby. And I sobbed. Theo cried in my ear, telling me how beautiful he is. I tried to watch as he was carried over to the warmer behind me, but the fatigue was too strong. I felt like I could close my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief. He was finally here. When he cried for the first time, it suddenly occurred to me that a few minutes had passed before I heard it. It took some encouraging, but the cry was loud and emphatic. My doctor made remarks like, "He has to be at least a 9 pounder," and "Kate, where did you hide him?" and "That's why your back hurt so much!" After being cleaned up and Theo cutting the cord, Oliver was brought over to the scale. 22inches, and 10lb 1oz! The whole room screamed in excitement. My doctor shouted, "and she's not even diabetic!" I just wanted him brought to me. Finally they carried him over, all swaddled up and head covered, just his little swollen face showing. He was so beautiful. His dark blue eyes stared into my soul. He has Theo's nose like we thought, big, plump lips, and full cheeks. I couldn't stop kissing those cheeks. They were so warm and soft. I kept telling Theo that Oliver was snorting. They eventually took him away, and asked my mom and Theo to leave while I got cleaned up. The first pain I felt all day was while they were sewing me up. I felt this strange pressure in my collar bones and shoulders. The anesthesiologist said it was normal, and probably related to my uterus being out or some nerve involvement. I really wanted to know that all my organs were back in and my body closed tight. They took the curtain down and I knew it was all over. I immediately felt warmer. In the recovery room I kept asking when Oliver and Theo were coming back. The 2 hours we were separated felt like forever. I heard there was a delay was because Oliver needed a lot of suctioning. The nurses suspected that he took his first breath while his head was stuck but his body was already out. My mom and mother in law took turns keeping me company while I waited for my boys. Theo eventually came back to recovery pushing my son in the cart. The first thing I wanted to do was skin to skin. Had we been able to have a vaginal delivery, this would have been the first thing that happened when he came out. I loved the feeling when Oliver first laid on my chest. We felt so warm on one another. Breastfeeding kicked off with a bang. He latched easily and ate right away. It felt so good to connect to him completely. After some time of Theo and I soaking him in, we were taken to the postpartum room where we would be for the next 4 days. Our room was actually one large room with 2 beds that had originally been used for 2 patients before everyone had their own room. Theo was very grateful to have his own bed, although during the day he usually snuggled on mine with Oliver. The next few days sort of all blurred together, but here are some key moments in no particular order.
- Several family members and friends came to visit. I loved seeing Oliver meet all of them. Mostly I just tried to stay awake. The combination of little sleep at night and the narcotics made it hard to stay awake for anything. Breastfeeding made me doze off almost every time.  
- I almost passed out the first time I tried walking and had to be wheeled back to the room.
- The pain and cramping got bad at times, but the narcotics made it mostly tolerable.
- I was so excited the first time they let me drink something, even though I had to take little sips at a time.
- Oliver lost a little weight, but the nurses weren't too concerned because my milk came in about 2-3 days after birth.
- The lactation consultant loved me because I let her bring in other nurses that needed to be signed off on their breastfeeding training... that and Oliver was (still is) a great eater. 
- Oliver was so brave during the circumcision. Theo said he didn't cry at all. Maybe the gauze soaked with sugar water that they let him suck on helped. 
- Theo was asked if Oliver could be filmed for a news segment being done about carmageddon and the recent little baby boom at the hospital. The reporter begged because he said Oliver was such a gorgeous baby :-) Theo told them no. The premises of the story is stupid. Who seriously stayed home and had sex instead of going on the 405? Although it is pretty funny looking back because the timing is right on. 
- The food at the hospital was awesome by the way. No, seriously. 
- Oliver was put in a 3 month hospital shirt right after birth, but the next day was wearing a 6 month hospital shirt. While he did skip the newborn clothes and diapers, he did wear 0-3 clothes and size 1 diapers at home. 
- It was amazing how fast my belly went down in the first few days. But I'll talk more about weight loss in a little bit.
- Oliver was very easy to please. He cried and we either changed his diaper, fed him or just held him and he stopped crying. Although he was eating constantly. The kid couldn't get enough!
- The pediatrician said his noisy breathing was normal and his lungs were clear, even though we all thought he sounded so congested. 
- Oliver had the cutest little frog legs. Because he ended up being in pike position before coming out, his legs laid to either side. Although the pediatrician in the hospital said we should have a scan done in 6 months to check on his hips, our own pediatrician said she wasn't concerned. He still will sometimes let his legs flop open when laying down.

Oliver was born on a Monday, and by Friday we were headed home. It was so weird leaving the hospital with him. Are they seriously going to just let us walk out after being checked on every few hours for the past four days? We had a terrible time getting Oliver into the car seat. He just looked so tiny in it and uncomfortable. We started out with a convertible car seat, but have since been using the infant carrier. It was raining and I remember being so paranoid about any car that drove near us. I wanted to be home and safe ASAP.

SLEEP
We started off using the co-sleeper but he was waking up every 2 hours to eat. Which really meant only 1 hour of sleep, because of the hour of breastfeeding. We realized he was sleeping better during the day in the swing and decided to give it a try at night. It worked wonders. Within the first week, he slept 5 hours one night. But that wasn't consistent. At first we thought he hated to be swaddled, so we tucked a blanket around his legs. That drove me nuts because I thought it was a SIDS risk. And we tried the sleep sack which worked okay. My cousin told me not to confuse him not liking getting swaddled with him not liking being swaddled. As soon as we really gave swaddling a chance, his sleep increased at night. First we used a blanket for swaddle, then tried the velcro kind. The velcro ones are perfect. We also moved the swing from my side of the bed to Theo's. I realized I wasn't sleeping well because I waited for him to cry and kept checking to make sure his clothing/swaddle wasn't too close to his face. Theo isn't nearly as neurotic, so it didn't change his sleep to have Oliver on his side. The last change we made was from another recommendation from my cousin. She had used the Fischer Price Rock and Play Sleeper and told me how well her daughter slept in it. Since using this rocker, Oliver sleeps 5-7.5 hours on his first stretch, stays up for an hour to eat, then sleeps another 2-3 hours. AMAZING.

POSTPARTUM BLUES
A combination of hormones, Theo going back to work, my recovery, and Oliver's acid reflux led to me not feeling too happy. It started around the time we came home from the hospital. I had left a place where I was fully taken care of, so all I had to worry about was Oliver. Despite being checked on frequently, the hospital was quiet, and Theo and I could use all of our attention and energy on the baby. At home, Theo and my family were a huge help. But, I had to deal with my spiking fevers from mastitis, and take care of Oliver alone while Theo and my mom were at work. Due to his acid reflux, Oliver would not let me set him down. I felt like I was just trying to get through the day, and not savor every moment with my perfect son. I felt terrible for feeling this way, and I cried A LOT. I just wanted to be happy. This was all I ever wanted. Luckily, I had educated Theo on postpartum blues before the delivery, just in case. So when I started opening up to him about my feelings, he knew exactly what to say. I talked to my doctor about it at my two week appointment. She explained how normal it was, and if it doesn't last longer than 3 weeks, then it's just blues and not depression. Like magic, after the 3 week mark, I started feeling better about my role as mom. The clouds parted, and the sun began shining. I began to see how Oliver and I fit together. I began having less and less bad days. Around that time, we started getting Oliver's acid reflux a little better controlled. Of course, I still have the occasional meltdown when I feel overwhelmed, but I know it will pass shortly.  I wish more women discussed this with each other. Maybe then we wouldn't feel so ashamed about it. Talking about how I was feeling helped me more than anything else, that and time.

INFANT ACID REFLUX
My mom told me that newborns were the easiest. Eat, poop, sleep, repeat. Take care of those needs, and you would have a happy baby. Of course I knew not every baby was as perfect as I was ;-), just kidding. I was well aware that some babies were just colicky.
Just a few days after Oliver's 1 week check up with our pediatrician, we noticed that he would start crying around 45 minutes after feedings, and would scream and spit up if laid down flat within an hour of feedings. His cries were screaching, and he would arch his back frequently (a sign of pain in infants). It was heartbreaking to see him in pain. We tried everything to soothe him, but very little worked. We even resorted to the dreaded pacifier. It was something I swore I would never let my baby use. But several websites suggested using binkies for reflux. So we decided to call the pediatrician, and see what else could be done. She started him on a very low dose of Zantac, and reassured us that we will wean him off as soon as possible. It didn't thrill me to be putting my 2 week old baby on medication, but we were becoming desperate for something that could stop Oliver from being in pain. The first couple days on the medication were a dream. My whole family said he was a different baby. It felt like our first few days in the hospital, when we were always able to take care of whatever was making him unhappy. But then the relief tapered off, and he was back to screaming fits with nothing that worked. About a week after starting the medication, we were told to increase the dose. His doctor still said it was well below the mg per kg dose. Once again, we saw relief for a few days that tapered off. Our doctor decided it was time to send Oliver to a pediatric gastroenterologist. The GI doctor was fantastic. We told him all the symptoms Oliver had, and he explained which ones pointed to colic and which to acid reflux. He thought there were two symptoms that gave him reason to suspect it could be acid reflux, but he did not want to overload this little baby with medication if it turned out to just be colic. He had us start by increasing the Zantac dose to the amount recommended for his size. He told us if Oliver does well for a few days and then tapers off again, he suspects it's just colic, and Oliver's body is just responding well to any change given to him. But if he does well for about 2 weeks, then tapers off, then it's most likely acid reflux and he just has outgrown the medication dose. Luckily, 2 weeks and 1 day went by of having a relaxed baby. Oliver was happy and alert, and only cried when he needed something. He outgrew the dose again, and I hope this is the last time we have to change it. I would love for him to outgrow the dose, and not need it increased because the reflux will have subsided. Knowing it's acid reflux is bitter sweet. Had it been colic that was making him unhappy, he most likely would have outgrown it after 3 months, but there would be little that would help in the meantime. Acid reflux means we can treat it, but it could potentially take a year to outgrow. I had many seasoned moms tell me I shouldn't have started him on medication, that I should use natural remedies, and that all babies cry. I've learned that I have to trust my instincts. My instincts told me that it wasn't just colic, that he was actually in pain. That medication has given us time to really get to know our baby because he isn't crying 24/7.

My weight loss
I didn't keep a very good record of my weight loss, but here's what I remember. In the hospital, I remember watching my belly literally shrink every day. I weighed myself 3 days after birth, and I was about 155. So I literally only lost Oliver's weight. At my 2 week postpartum check up I was down to 146. Around 1 month postpartum, I was 140. Today, 9 weeks postpartum, I'm 131. I'm very happy with how the weight loss has been going. I owe it all to breastfeeding, because I have done very little exercising. I will say that I've been walking short walks since about 2 weeks postpartum, probably even sooner. I fit into a lot of my pre-pregnancy clothes. But my jeans are still too tight, and my boobs are too big for many of my tops. Despite it being hard to fit in my tops, it's kind of fun having boobs for the first time. I was living in a few nursing tank tops until the past week or so. I found a blog called milkfriendly.com. The woman writes about how to be stylish while pregnant and breastfeeding. She inspired me to look through my old clothes and find clothes that are easy to button down or easy to pull up over baby. My nursing style is slowly transforming.

Baby Weight
4/9/2012 : 10lb, 1oz, 22in  0-3month clothes
4/16: 9lb, 13oz
4/23: 10lb, 9oz, 22.5in    3 month clothes
5/11: 12lb, 3oz, 24 3/4 in  3-6 month
5/24: 6 month clothes
6/5: 14lb, 13oz
6/10: Some 6 month clothes, but 9 month are more roomy
6/14: 15lb, 5oz